POEMATIS

A THOUGHT

If today,
Suddenly,
I was to receive his letter,
I would be unreasonably happy
The whole day today,
And every day afterwards
Whenever I think of it.

——-

What Scares Me More

What scares me more
Than having to keep twisting the knife
You left stabbed in my chest
To keep the wound raw
For the knife there is no rest
I do the work myself
You merely help
With words so perfect
Undone by acts
The perfect means to conceal facts

What scares me more
If the history has a tendency
Itself to repeat
Then what lies ahead
Is a life of lies and deceit
What scares me more
You offer the gift of your own
The magic touch of a hobbit
But how do you plan to give it
If you don’t know that you have it

What scares me more
Than having to endure
This throbbing pain
What scares me more is giving in
To the tears lost in the rain
Giving up, letting go, leaving behind
Letting it disappear into oblivion
And far away from my mind
What scares me more

A heart free from woe
Is stripped of its shield
And foolish to risk losing everything
That’s what scares me more
The slug of my heart
Given half the chance
Would jump the wall
Arms open wide in a free fall
And there you’ll be the first of men
With a foot ready to squash it again

Nothing scares me more

——

YOUR HEART

Like an albergue built on the road
To accommodate transiting pilgrims
By nature welcoming and compliant
By nature unyielding to overstays

——

SWEETNICIDE

my name drops off your lips like honey
to be with me, time is not an issue or money,
you proffer your heart on the palm of your hand
pledging to honor me until the end
but your heart has a mind of its own it seems
its perfidious nature is hatching schemes
to keep meandering on and cast me aside
that it’s in its nature no solace can provide
the pain is excruciating going on chronic
the pain is insuperable, how ironic
compelled to show you how it feels
I trade our home for a life on the wheels

But no heart it heals

Now all of us three bootless, vain and free
To loiter around on a foreign ground.
As if our home wasn’t as big and blue as sky
Airy sweet nest full of sweet sweetni.
A place where you could have been you night and day
But it wasn’t the candor that sent you off and away,
Your surreptitious nature demands extra space
to conceal its more than one sincere face.
So you do what you must to attain your lust
Even if it means annihilating trust
I do what I can to keep faith in men,
If one of us is happy, that must be you
I hang on to ambivalence, it’s the best I can do.

——-

SLEEPLESS

In silence I listen to the silence of your sleep
A few stolen moments that I’ll get to keep,
I watch your body sway in rhythmic motion
Serene and distant, free of any notion
Maybe the sound of your even breathing
Can soothe the hunger that in me is seething
Maybe the metronome of your breath
Can lure my insomnia to an easy death.

Unlikely.

Your sleepy breath slides down my neck
Stirring the serpent in my spine,
Sending vibrations up my back
Making me ache to make you mine.

Still I resist.

But not for long.

Enveloped in the cloak of your body heat
I descend into fever I can’t beat.
My hips as if welded to your waist,
My nipples burning into your chest,
My hair  into your shoulders grows,
Entangled – our knees and feet and toes.

I close my eyes and imagine a scene
Where nothing and no one could intervene
While my tongue, as always compliant,
Sucks in your luscious, alabaster giant.

Between my legs, the burning itchiness breaks
A little rubbing against your knee is all it takes,
Swollen and sultry from desire I come with ease
just one small jolt,
yes, I am quite easy to please.

You sleep peacefully, unaware
Of all the furor I’ve had to bear.

So I get up and light a cigarette.
Inhaling deeply, I wonder about
This miserable substitute
For my hungry mouth.
Through a circle of smoke
Inexplicably sad,
I watch the contours of your body
Cut into my bed.

The intoxicating scent of your dream hovers
Like a dance of shadows around this room,
Making it impossible for me to find
My peace any time soon.

——-

BACK INTO FOCUS

Time is an illusion
If I can remember the future
Than I can sure forget the past

Out of focus
When tears inhabit eyes
The vision is blurry
And the whole world
Out of focus

If you can’t see well where you are going
How do you expect to get there?

Wipe those tears
Wash your face
Take another look around
The sun is up
The day is clear
The air is fresh with summer breeze
Stop talking about authentic
And be it

The life is full of promise
Forget the one that wasn’t kept
Life is too short to hold onto
The rotting carcass of love imagined
Turn around –
The real love is waiting
Life is full of promise
Put it into focus

Move (the fuck) on!

——-

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  1. your words
    the way home
    sweetnest
    last poem
    my teacher

    ……. i love love love (the most)!!

    ps. how do I respond to a poem individually???

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